Tuesday, December 13, 2005


How can I be depressed when Scruffybutt's around? Just look at her picture over there with me. This dog, lemme tell ya about this little dog. She runs the whole house. She's so alpha that she pees with her leg up. She scares hell out of the big dogs at the vet's office. They look at her so warily, and you can almost see the thoughts running through their furry little brains when they look at this insane little dog growling and barking at them, straining against her leash to get at them and bite their asses! They're thinking, "Now, I know what I'm seeing is a SMALL dog, and I know that I could take that little bitch down with three paws tied behind me, but ... but ... that little dog seems so SURE of itself ... hmmm ... wait, now, there might be a trick here. Yes, that's it, it's a trick of some kind. Think. Think hard. Ouch, my brain hurts. I dunno... How could that little bitch possibly harm me -- is it gonna 'splode, maybe??? Okay, I'm gonna back down, just in case, but not in a way that LOOKS like I'm backing down. I'll just scratch my left ear and yawn and pretend to find something else to do -- oh! what an interesting floor ..."

(You are saying to yourself at this point, ya know, that Candace just needs to get out more... Hey -- I'm out at this very moment! I'm at the Barnes & Noble looking cool with my laptop, scone, and caf. But now I really miss Scruffybutt.)

P.S. Just overheard a mom ask her four-yr-old what he wants for Christmas: a calculator and a puppy! Isn't that cute? I just hope if he gets a puppy that he doesn't do what my brother did and put it in the 'fridge one hot summer day to cool off. (Yes, the puppy survived.) :)