Making an impression

A friend sent me this joke:

Texas Happy Hour

A cowboy is driving down a back road in Texas and he sees a sign in front of a restaurant.......

Happy Hour Special

LOBSTER TAIL AND BEER

"Lord almighty," he says to himself, "my three favorite things!!"


This reminds me of the first dinner I had with my prospective in-laws...

We went to a restaurant called Dick's Last Resort. The waitress asked if we wanted "breasts, thighs, or crabs," while pointing to her own breasts, thighs, and genitalia. You know how in some books the author describes a character as having a smile frozen on their face? That actually happened to my mother-in-law. You know how people say they were so mortified that they nearly died? That actually happened to me! Tomcat and my father-in-law, however, thought it was hilarious.

Then there was the second dinner I ever had with my prospective in-laws...

We were at the Dixie House restaurant. Everyone ordered southern fried chicken. As I'm munching away, I look around the table and realize that Tomcat and his parents are eating fried chicken with a knife and fork, while I, the rube, am holding a chicken leg with my hands in front of my face. Did I mention that Tomcat and his folks are from Buffalo? Only Yankees would eat southern fried chicken with a knife and fork. Even if they knew that, it wouldn't matter, and I realized in that instant there was nothing I could ever do or say to dispel the impression that their son was marrying a barbarian.

Then there was the time I cooked the Thanksgiving turkey upside down...